It’s NOT Just Me? Is it?

Identifying PTSD:

I am feeling quite vulnerable today. I feel this way sometimes when I cannot control my self-doubt or insecurities. At 66 years young, one would think that my childhood was long an item of my past. But my childhood still exists in my wavering frames of mind. I fear things. I fear the rejection of my memoir by most people because I am not a psychologist. But I lived my entire life beside PTSD. This life made me want so badly to help others win over their PTSD. Still, I fear that I have not yet achieved my own goals. Then, I realize that my fears are remnants of my traumas. I never knew how people would react to me and I have always continued to fear rejection. I sincerely believe that my traumas live on to coax me to help others move toward a goal which I know will take the rest of their lives to achieve.

No problem. PTSD can be beaten down but it will still rear its insidious head from time to time, leaving its owner open to perceived threats only they can recognize. Threats only they can conquer.

This is me. I know I am not the only one. Have I hit a cord in anyone else?

Just to clarify:

• not all trauma leads to PTSD

• BUT, all PTSD is the child of trauma

My trauma was very emotional and heart-rending. It was not physical but my scars are very real none-the-less. The Oxford dictionary defines trauma as a wound or injury; an emotional shock producing a lasting effect upon a person.

I would further say that, in my case, my trauma was definitely caused by my emotional and psychological responses to episodes in my childhood which I found too distressing to understand. A sense of fear was engendered in me by witnessing too much PTSD at an early age—which in turn left me with lasting detriments to my psyche.

My circumstances are outlined in my memoir, Adytum by Mary Cools, which can be found on Amazon.com or at the Friesen Press online bookstore. There is, however, a whole list of situations that can lead to PTSD:

• Abuse: sexual, physical, emotional, psychological, cultural or financial

• Accidents resulting in injury

• Assault

• Death of loved ones

• Discrimination

• Harassment

• Incarceration

• Poverty

• Medical intervention

• Natural disasters

• Neglect

• Warfare

• Witnessing violence

I am a victim of generational trauma.

This is me. If you are at all like me, you can always come to this blog to find some compassion and healing. I will share my survival techniques with you and you can feel better.

BUT, if this does not always work for you, go to www.ptsd.va.gov or [Wounded Warriors (Canada)] to find out what clinical treatments are available to you. I hope this helps.

Read my book, Adytum, available at Friesen Press online bookstore in hardcover, paperback and Kindle versions. In this book, I share how I came to know PTSD and how my parents learned to cope with it.

Mary Cools